HELP FOR YOU

'Carina was my life coach for nearly four months. When she started to coach me I was going through a particularly traumatic time in my life, having had cancer, being made redundant and going through the angst of the break up of a three year relationship. I was terribly low. Carina coached me through and resurrected the confidence and self-esteem I had lost. I now feel more able to cope with day to day life and I would recommend anyone having problems, whatever they might be, to consider life coaching with Carina.'
Trisha, U.K.

'I achieved more in the twelve weeks I was being coached by Carina than I had in years of trying on my own. It was great to have someone who was supportive and encouraging, but also so skillful and caring. We discussed the things I wanted to achieve and looked at new ways of doing things and new ways of thinking, which made all the difference. I have made real changes in my life that I know I wouldn't have achieved without her.'
Robert, U.K.

'I first started life coaching with Carina after my mum died. I felt unhappy with pretty much every aspect of my life and negative about everything.....Eight months down the line and I feel great! I now know what I want to do with my future and I'm going to Leeds University. Carina helped me focus on my positive qualities and channel them the best way for my future.'
Kate, U.K.

'Your life coaching skills helped me through a very difficult and complex time in my life. You were always available with incredible insight and support and have an amazing knack for seeing the wood through the trees!'
Lorna, New Zealand

WHAT IS LIFE COACHING?

People often ask me what life coaching is. In fact there are a variety of types of life coaching and many of them revolve around the business environment. However, I'm more of a personal person!

The essence of life coaching is advising, supporting and encouraging people to find their way forward to lead a life they really want. The word 'coach' is one I hate, because it doesn't really describe what we do, but nobody has come up with a better word yet (all suggestions welcome!). The world is an increasingly complex place with lots of choices and too much happening. We don't get time to stop and think what's actually best for us or those around us, or else we know we're not happy but can't quite put a finger on why. We have negative thoughts about ourselves, worries about the future and fears about the planet. It's extremely stressing and depressing.

A coach is trained to help you discover the person you really are. I work together with my clients to help the client gain some clarity about what he or she needs or wants. This then gives the client confidence to make changes in order to overcome problems and achieve a more fulfilled, better balanced and happier lifestyle.

Why should some stranger help you? Well, I believe that in many ways a life coach does for you what friends, family and people in the community used to do in days gone by. Nowadays we're often living a long way from our childhood friends and family. Many of us have little time to take part in community activities and we often live relatively isolated lives. It's very difficult to find someone to talk to about our troubles and worries and what's in our hearts. A life coach gives you friendly, confidential advice and unbiased guidance and support.

The reason coaching is such a rapidly growing profession is simple: it works. Honestly. It really does. It works for anyone who is wanting to make a positive change in any aspect of their lives, but is not sure how to achieve it. It encompasses relationships, finances, career, spirituality, health and leisure. The great thing is that it can be done face to face, by phone or over the internet, which is why I'm on here!

If you're at all interested then email me at newstart@cyberperk.co.za, and let me see what I can do for you. Go on! You have absolutely nothing to lose and so much to gain!

QUOTES

Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony. (Gandhi)

First say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do. (Epictetus)

The aim of life is self-development. To realise one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for. (Oscar Wilde)

There is no wealth but life. (John Ruskin)

If you don't know where you are going you will probably end up somewhere else.

LOOKING FOR THE MEANING OF LIFE

Seeking some sort of meaning to our lives is an essential part of being human. Usually we believe we should focus on the outside world to find it. In reality it's hidden inside each of us, frequently buried under layers of negative thoughts and emotions as we plod through our day to day business. Tapping into the core of yourself lets you find what's important to you (and it won't necessarily be what seems important to everyone else). Deep down we probably know this, but we're restricted by fear. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of making fools of ourselves, fear of disappointing our nearest and dearest, and so on.

Many people think they'll be happy and content when they've bought their dream house or car, or lost weight, or found a partner, or had a promotion. We set ourselves goals to achieve these things, but, if we do finally manage it, we're disappointed to find we still feel unfulfilled. Too many people seem to be chasing impossible dreams. Happiness is transient and cannot be maintained by material things, otherwise wouldn't all millionaires be happy? It's to do with feeling good about ourselves and what we do with our time.

Part of the problem is that we pick up underlying negative beliefs about ourselves, such as: 'I'm lazy', 'I'm different', 'I'm worthless', 'I 'm shy', and so on. As we grow up these are instilled in us by our environment and our interaction with parents, siblings, teachers or friends. Even the most loving well-meaning relationships can create negative beliefs in us. Since we each have about 60,000 thoughts a day, most of which are subconscious, we're thinking these negative thoughts over and over again. If you think 'I'm a failure' several hundred times a day, then of course you will tend to fail! Think about how your brain works. If you repeatedly do something, such as driving a car, you stop consciously thinking how you do it. Change that car, from a manual to an automatic, for example and it takes a while for your brain to adapt. Your hand keeps looking for the gear lever and your left foot looks for the clutch, but after a while it also becomes familiar and you stop having to think about it.

In the same way, if you identify your negative beliefs and consciously work to change them to positive beliefs, they soon become subconscious thoughts. Once they're going through your mind over and over again, your behaviour is affected and other people begin to reflect the new you. Gradually you overcome your previous fears because you've learned to see yourself clearly and you know and like the person you are. In other words: you start to find the true you.

By finding the essence of who we are and what feels right for us, we can change our lives accordingly. Once we've discovered these things we can find out what we need to give our lives meaning. Sometimes this requires moving out of our comfort zone and sometimes it takes some hard work and commitment, but once you are on the right track all things become possible. Soon your new way of life is your new comfort zone.

The secret to making life more meaningful is to find your inner core, your true feelings and beliefs. Only then can you look to the outside world and identify the parts of it that suit your talents and personality. The places where you will fit in and be fulfilled. It isn't always easy, but ultimately it's very satisfying and it will certainly give meaning to your life!