CHARMING!

• ‘The expression one wears on one’s face is far more important than the clothes one wears on one’s back’ (Dale Carnegie)
  
  
  What makes someone charming? We all know some of those people who are universally liked. Nelson Mandela is a prime example.
  
  Being liked is fundamental to our well-being, both physically and mentally. Having good self-esteem is the key to happiness and success and being liked raises our self-esteem, helping us achieve the things we want in life.
  
  In a nutshell, the secret to being socially successful is about making people feel good about themselves and it begins with feeling good about yourself. Accept who you are, warts and all, and be content with yourself. This will immediately give you a sense of security which will attract other people. If you act confident you’ll become confident. Most importantly, learn to laugh at yourself.
  
  The more you’re the real you the more relaxed you’ll be. People quickly pick up on any insincerity or tension. You don’t have to try hard to be liked, just try to like other people. If you have a genuine interest in and desire to engage with people they’ll sense it. Expect to enjoy being with people and they’ll enjoy being with you! Here are some practical tips on how to be a charmer:
  
  When first meeting people smile. If meeting several people in a group don’t smile too quickly at everyone. Try to smile at them individually as you get to talk to them. Remember names, and, if you’ve forgotten after the introduction, apologise and ask them again as soon as you can.
  
  Be aware of anyone else who’s uncomfortable. Empathy goes a long way towards making friends.
  
  Remember that you have two ears for listening and one mouth for talking. Listening is more important than talking when meeting people. You’re not boring if you’re listening. Talking all the time is boring!
  
  Get people to talk about themselves. Ask questions needing more than yes/no answers and be interested in the answers. Give positive feedback, but don’t agree with everything they say or you’ll seem insincere.
  
  Concentrate on the person you’re dealing with. Maintain eye contact and don’t forget about body language. Lean towards them, but not too close, and don’t look round for other people to talk to!
  
  Establish a connection by finding similarities between you (like work, where you live, common interests etc.) and exchange ideas and information.
  
  Find out what’s unique and special about them. Everyone has something worth listening to and everyone is potentially important in your life.
  
  Always show respect for other people’s opinions. Don’t create arguments. Hostility just creates more hostility. Listen to their views, even if you end up disagreeing. We’re each entitled to our own opinions.
  
  Accept criticism gracefully and always admit your mistakes. It makes you more likeable.
  
  If you find small talk difficult, then gen up on current affairs, humourous anecdotes, new books/films/art or recent sports events.
  
  
  
  Remember that sending out a clear signal to someone that you like them will make them like you. However, above all, be sincere and when you leave try to do it on a high note because that’s the way you’ll be remembered! So go out there and charm everyone!
  
  (Read ‘The Power of Social Intelligence’ by Tony Buzan if you want to learn more on this subject)
  
  

BLUE

‘Blue colour is everlastingly appointed by the Deity to be a source of delight’ (John Ruskin)

Think how relaxing it is staring up at a bright blue sky or looking out over an expanse of blue sea. Blue is a cool and calming colour. We’re soothed by the deep blue of a night sky. It’s the colour of relaxation, tranquility and peace. Blue light has been shown to lower blood pressure and dark blue is good for curing insomnia and alleviating pain. Bear in mind, though, that too much dark blue can worsen depression.

Light, soft blues give us a sense of quiet and an escape from the stresses of everyday life. They inspire mental control and clarity. Blue helps strengthen your willpower and your individuality. It’s an excellent colour to use when you’re converting your dreams to reality.

It’s also the colour of communication and self-expression. With a good balance of blue in your life you will communicate honestly and effectively.

Too much blue in your life can make you talk too much and without thinking before you speak. Too little blue can create a lack of self-control or willpower and cause you to communicate badly. You’re likely to be timid and quiet and too quick to compromise. You might not feel able to say what you want, and this can lead to depression.

If you don’t like blue you probably have a fear of failure, or a fear of losing your status or position. Someone may have been disloyal and let you down, making you feel rejected.

Blue is the colour of space, quiet, reassurance and sensitivity. It represents loyalty and trust. Use blue where you want to relax or discover your individuality and personal strength of will. However, if you have a tendency towards depression, don’t surround yourself with too much blue.