DREAMS AND AMBITIONS

‘Keep away from those who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you believe that you too can become great’. (Mark Twain)

What are your dreams and ambitions? Most of us have a vague idea of the things we want to do in our lives, but we plod along on a course through life that isn’t what we wanted. We’re not sure how to change track and often lose sight of what we dreamed of in our youth. Sometimes our youthful dreams are interrupted or stifled by well-meaning parents or circumstances. We end up in a job we don’t enjoy, raising a family and none of it is quite what we had in mind. We make excuses: I don’t have the time, or the money, or the training. In fact we all have choices. You can achieve your dreams. Obviously there may be situations where it’s difficult, but even if we can achieve our ambitions in a small way, we’re happier because of it.

The first step is to identify what you want. The dreams and ambitions you had in your youth may be very different later in life, or pared down into something more realistic. Sometimes we choose dreams for the wrong reasons. If you’re lacking in motivation, then you’re probably going after the wrong thing. Consider what you really want out of your life. What motivates you and makes you happy? What are your strengths and weaknesses? What are your beliefs and values? What kind of person do you want to be? What would you like to change about your life?

If necessary divide your life into categories and look at each one separately. Ask yourself if you’re achieving what you want in each category. These could be something like: creative, career, qualifications, family, finances, spiritual, physical, social and community.

There will probably be one or two that will leap out at you as being particularly unsatisfactory for you. As an example, let’s look at community. Perhaps you often think the world isn’t a very pleasant place. Question what matters to you most. Is it global warming, starving children, education, cruelty to animals or something else that makes you emotional? You can’t change everything, but you can make a small difference in your own way. Sometimes getting involved in a small way leads on to bigger things and affects other aspects of your life too.

Be self-aware. Try to free yourself from what other people might think. Whatever lifestyle is of value to you may be different from your friends’ values. Nobody is right or wrong. It’s a question of choices. Don’t be frightened of failure or that you might make a mistake. It’s natural to feel apprehensive, but see it as a learning process. If something goes wrong, learn from it and move on. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Remember that you’re no longer stuck in a rut or standing still. You’re exploring and finding out about yourself.

Once you’ve identified some of the things that you want to change, set yourself some goals. They can be small or large. Make sure the goals you choose are what you want, and not what your family or employer wants. It’s often easier to start with small changes that don’t take you too far out of your comfort zone and gradually increase your goals as you feel more comfortable with the changes you’re making.

Give yourself a time frame. It may be to change your job within five years. Be realistic. Allow yourself time to achieve the goal. In the case of changing a job you may want to do some studying to prepare, or you may need to build up something outside your current job until you’re able to change over completely to the new career. Write your goals and plans down and be open to possibilities. Daydream and visualise yourself doing the things you want. Don’t let yourself be distracted. Constantly remind yourself of your goals and check how far you have come. Congratulate yourself on every small step you take.

Don’t be a victim, but take charge of your life. Eventually you’ll be able to stand back and realise that what were once dreams and ambitions have become a reality!