BOUNCING BACK

‘Life is not about how fast you run or how high you climb, but how well you bounce’.

We all have ups and downs in our lives, whatever our circumstances. Adversity comes in all forms: health issues, relationship problems, financial worries, bereavement etc. To maintain a healthy attitude towards these problems we need resilience. Psychologists are realising that an ability to bounce back from setbacks is one of the keys to leading a satisfied life.

We’re not born with or without resilience. It’s something we can learn and develop. The core behaviours are emotional control and openness to new experiences.

Emotional control is something we should all work on! Having a tantrum or a road rage episode is never a solution. When confronted with situations where you feel your anger rising, take a breath and think clearly about what will happen if you lose your temper. In public it will be embarrassing and there’s a chance you might be physically assaulted; in private you’re liable to say or do things you’ll later regret. Ultimately you’ll only be making yourself unnecessarily stressed and upset. Try to react to negative situations with good grace, courage, humour and optimism. You’ll feel a lot better for it.

Talk to friends or family about how you’re feeling. The act of putting your emotions into words and describing the situation will help you keep calm and give you more clarity. Keeping a sense of humour is also an enormous help and alleviates anger and tension.

Focus on the positive and see things in perspective. For example, having your car stolen is not a life and death event. You will get through it and move on.

Being open to new experiences helps you work out solutions to problems. Think around the problem from different angles and be open to any possibilities. You may have to move out of your comfort zone, but you’ll learn from your difficulties. Often we close ourselves off from escape routes because we’re too frightened to try something different. It’s people who are willing to take new directions or think ‘out of the box’ who tend to bounce back from life’s setbacks.

Remember that the way we feel about life and ourselves is not so much because of what happens to us, as because of the way we respond. Resolve to be more resilient and transform hardship into challenge or failure into success. Don’t be a victim, be a survivor!